Fall For You

This few days i feel that i am not bored not sien...coz i falling deeply on someone....that day was in a chat with car and ling we were just chatting then suddenly car added welly a.k.a jason into the chat so we started to talk crap...then suddenly out of the blue he says "shimmie lai we pak tor" then i said i was too young for him maybe he din see or something i said a few times then well i was already falling for him then end up =/ i said okie....well that time i dont know whether izzit true coz sometimes guys just playing so i accepted him anyway then we carry on chatting lor... Then was already late so we all went to sleep...

I really like him alot i falling myself on to him...so i still talk to him and he always made me happy...that time till 21st its a sunday we went out then he tried to make fun of me again...-.- that time not only me was there with him there's 7 other ppl...so we reach there 1st then only he reach he sms me say " I reach le...Asking waitress to get ready bbq place" he didn't even know that we already sitting at the cafe waiting...before i even went to the cafe was already chatting with him on msn....i told him i go there and sleep then he say if i sleep he pinch me...well so ngam that day he sitting beside me and luckily i didn't fall asleep thanks to my ice blended cappucino...That night i was really happy and he called me for no reason for 5 times...sigh....then was 12 edi so we went home....i kept looking and him and he walked off... That night i too happy till came home didnt sleep...

Next morning at about 1 pm he sms me he thought i still sleeping..ahah...i was happy so i sms him back lor plus that time he is working somemore....the whole monday i was smsing him enjoying myself and very happy ahha....then worried about him oh well...then ytd he acted weird suddenly he says he is not a good guy he do bad things sigh....even today talk to him also different from that day....sigh...i really miss him everyday i really fall for him alot....sigh...i really dont know...We like the same songs, our caller ringtone the same i feel like we have the same taste...Everyday thinking of him, want to sms him but i scared...I feel that he doesnt like me or something i dont know...but i really falling for him....i dont know why but yes only him in my heart right now can nvr change....sigh.....i guess he is the only guy i like right now no one else....SIgh....i falling for you very deeply.....

No more college for me i guess???

haiz....I might stop college soon...I don't have much money to go on my studies in Taylor's till 2010 the course there too expensive for me since my dad doesn't want to pay for my education fees =/...I have to pay it on my own and my savings can only last me till end of 2009 or earlier than that i don't know i really don't know what am i gonna do >_<>

Stop college and start working gonna be hard for me but i don't have the choice if my loan doesn't approve!!!Can anyone tell me what more i can do??SIGH!!!!! why is this happening to me =(((((?? haiz can i die =( i wanna go on studying but now i already dont know how....haiz......guess i gonna die soooooon......no college to study T_____T sigh.....bye bye i go find alternative.....

I Hate You forever

Well today is one of my worst day ever...I really wish i can leave this house and stay somewhere else...i really wish....T___T sigh.....Today, dad being an asshole.. He wants to borrow my bag to bring to singapore cause he is going there for work and he wants to use a bagpack well i have mah so he asked me....Then i said its there....I got things to do so i told him wait then i went into the kitchen see whether the food is ready -.- he being hard headed take my bag and said -.- you want ur things i was like really angry coz its my bag and how can you take my things and said i dont want....well i told him later i sort it out and will give you...Then he got angry and say now -.- when i started to eat my dinner he throw all the things on the floor -.- AND MY PSP SPOILT dammit....i started crying and he -.- angry....He said from today on wards pay ur own eletricity bills, eat on your own, he doesnt wanna sign my education loan either....well from there i know he doesn't treat me as a daughter anymore...and what more i treat him as a dad...sigh...

Since small till now he hit, whack me, take belt, take knife... I didn't say anything at all and now still wanna hit me i seriously don't understand well yes i am not a smart kid, not good in studies...he doesn't have to say that i bring bad luck to the family i am useless and bad...I seriously gave up in my life...i really hate it.....I wish i can leave this house....I studied like shyt for what? for my own future and prove to him that he is wrong.....I get good grades last sem he didn't even say anything he just said your result not good enough....I got stressed out and pressured did i tell anyone??heck i wish i can leave this place!!!!i wanna go mlk or sg i dont wanna stay here....I HATE HIM forever and ever.....i don't have such dad who says and do that to me....

My bday celebrationg on Sunday (30/11/08)

Quite awhile since i actually blog...plus i haven even blog about my birthday celebration....hmm after i finish my exams i had a bday celebration with my friends and college friends also my seniors college friends too...Last Sunday(30/11/08), I had a bday celebration with my friends and my seniors but oh well...sadly my sisters cannot come....Anyway, thx guys for coming i really enjoyed myself thank you alot...

Well that day, kimmy came to fetch me with zhi so we went to the curve for my bday...Reach there about 1pm then we went to redbox to line up to get a room cause i actually booked a room way much earlier.....So me, kimmy, zhi and yam sitting outside redbox waiting for our room, we sat down and chit chat till the person came to us and give us the room...We went into the room and they started singing, there's this waiter came to me and speak to me in cantonese well i know cantonese but then this guy speak damn fast till i couldn't get what the hell the fella is talking about...They carry on singing and i just stare at them sing and those songs i know i will sing along with them...

After awhile my college mates and my senior came Jasmin, Lek Huai and Nic came..Sadly Su Zhen can't come due to family gathering oh well its okie but Su Zhen thx for the wish ya!....So they came and i got my presents sooo Jasmin asked me whether wanna open the present she wants to see too so then i opened the box that jasmin gave me well she herself dont know what's izzit...So i got a forever friends teddy - Sweet Treat kinda cute...then lek huai gave me a t-shirt and also kim and gang gave me a necklace with my name carved on thx guys....appreciate it....haha kim and gang really kept forcing me to sing well oklor....in the end i sang a few songs...Thx to zhi for singing the "cause i got high"" song i laugh till stomachache because the lyrics REALLY very lame....So my friend called the bill and i paid for it, then they started to go more crazy cause i paid the bill and i don't want them to pay....Then they sing like nobody business.....After that over then all of us finish singing and they sang me the "Happy Birthday by Click Five" so we went off....

Me, Lek Huai, Jasmin and Nic went walking around then we went to curve one end to the other in cineleisure coz Nic wants to buy something for Jasmin bday sooo went to buy forever friends teddy for her...3 small teddy...for her after that we went back.....

Thx guys for coming yea....Owe you guys a big time =)
Here are some pictures:

This pic taken in Curve when i celebrate my bday...(L:R)Lek Huai, Jasmin, Me

This teddy is baby shim =D cute XD
This teddy is given by Jasmin...Name it after her this teddy Baby Jasmin =)

Birthday WishList! =x lol

1. An Ipod to replace my lost one T_T
2. Forever Friends TeddyBear CUTE!!!(Should be enough got 2 that i can hug it already...)
   
3. A handphone to replace my cacated LCD W595(blue) or W580 (black or white)
   
4. A good result for my final exam for semester 2
5. Go Singapore to celebrate my sister's birthday bash! I hope i can T_T
6. Go take driving test with kimmy!!!!!!
7. Have a nice birthday with my secondary school friends college friends and sisters!
8. I need an external Hard disk T_T ( Hope dad buys during pc fair for me)
9. The Gift book by Cecilia Ahern
10. Hopefully she remembers my bday and can sms me to wish me *will be waiting for ur sms*

I think that's all i wish to have but i know not everything i want i can have it....I know that money is hard to earn thats why i dont want to ask for much =) i just want my birthday to be happy and memorable thats all i want =D haha.....Hope i have a good birthday =D

Birthday party Coming UP!

WOOT 14 days i didn't blog already lol....>_<>OVER!!!! HOLIDAYS!!! PARTY!!!! lol....haha Exams over my birthday coming what a nice timing right??? haha...gonna have a early party for me and its TOMORROW!!! Having it earlier coz...erm some of my good friends having classes still so having it on a sunday..haha having it on sunday also good la...more people can come haha!!! =D

Oh well supposedly i look forward to tomorrow's party coz my college senior coming, secondary school friends and also college friends coming...but somehow i dont wanna care already due to =.= one idiot who supposed to fetch my college senior to come he told me that his dad wants him to go back to ipoh -_-" well i don't know whether izzit true but sometimes its really hard for me to believe him....Coz he have played too many tricks and prank on me its very very hard to believe him...so i don't care who is coming but i definitely will be having fun with my secondary school friend because they are my bestest friends i had for so many years...Hey my secondary school GANG!! You guys are the best of the bestest chee mui i had for so many years! LOVE U ALL man!! =)

I am sad about why my sister cant come to my birthday party...JIEJIE i wish u really can come and celebrate with me =( Wish i can see you...i miss you and love u sooo much...jiejie ah, u are always in my heart u know =) muacks i love u loadz....!!!

I got my 1st birthday present that day my coursemate pass it to me and tell me that its my birthday present want to give it to me earlier...So i went home sat down looking at it and wondering what it is....so till mum its home i open it i just open the side and i saw it...Then i left it aside...Mom asked "why din open all?" I said that i dont wanna see it scary!!! so she took it and open she herself got a shocked =.= oh well that night was a hell out of big surprise...In my whole entire life of my birthday my friends had never buy me such an expensive present...I bet you are wondering what izzit....


GUESS!!!!











OH COME ON GUESS IT!!!!







YOU MIGHT KNOW AND YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT IS IT!!!!









A HANDPHONE!!!! oh well...=D happy?
Sony Ericsson walkman phone the slide one...W595 =.= (the phone i wanted)

My New Gadget thx man!

Jie! i bet you know who gave it to me!!! You should know who!! The guy i always told you about and complain about! haha.....oh well....I love you jiejie! MUACKS and LOVE YOU FOREVER....i have something for you too =D

My list that i wants for my birthday

I haven blog for a long long time...oh well nothing much to say but exams coming then my birthday plan!! weeeee i really don't know what i wants but somethings i really want but not anyone of you can actually get it for me you know....well the list before can screw it i just do it for fun...this is the correct list:

1. I really want my sister to come to my birthday party that i have plan thats all nothing else and of course my pass leaders, college friends and not gonna left out my secondary school gang...
2. I want a W580i(black or grey) or W595i(blue or black) phone coz my K550i second hand phone LCD screen DIED =.= sigh not even a mth T_T coursemates bought it
3. I want obviously good result and thats definitely need me to work hard oh well... lol =x
4. I am despo to go to Singapore to find my sister but i will be going i guess with my mama..
5. *exceptional* I want someone in my life who actually understands me well enough....and be there for me when i need him...I dont want those giving me trouble and making my whole time =.= like small kid need to make him back happy and all...
   

That's all i can think of for the moment but i seriously want all this desperately except the 5th one coz i know it takes time oh well...just wait and see haha....=) gtg study ciaoz....

Work Hard for My Future

I'm so bored so decided to blog about my list/wishes...Eventhough i know no one will actually read it but what to do i am bored...Can't wait till December comes cause my birthday! =)

Here's it is :
1. I hope i have a memorable birthday with my friends that includes (my gang in sec school, my pet sister, my college pass leader who is close to me, and also my college friends if possible)
2. I want teddy bear the forever friends teddy!!! damn cute =P *doubt i can get it*( too expensive)
3. I want a nice notebook but then dad won't buy it for me T_T savings....
4. Hmm maybe a special gift i wouldn't mind...
I got my K550i hehehehehhe sooooo happppy lalalalal XD wooo hoooo one wish down....
5. I want to go Singapore hopefully get to go wanna go find red korkor and kali jiejie they all...
6. I want someone in my life that i can share my problems with an can understand me at the same time hopefully i can find one..=x
7.Hope i get to see my pet sister on my birthday party if anyone is planning it for me guess not...

Guess that's it bah...nothing much i wants just want a happy life with someone close to me and that's my sister....hopefully get to see her again...

Back to yesterday about the parents teacher's day at my college.My dad and I went there its already about 11.30am so went in through the sliding door saw Ms.Alice and she was looking for my name by then i told her that my dad did not RSVP with her cause i don't know whether dad wants to go or not where i always know it last min...Nevermind carry on, sooo she get the teacher's name for me and told my dad that my english teacher wont be around and we told her that we know...Then went up to Mezzanine floor, i saw my Introduction to Business lecturer talking to Kelvyn's dad so i go in saw my Accounts lecturer, Ms Firdous its free so went to her...Well she is very nice talked many good things about me and have a really nice chat with my dad..My dad telling back the same thing to my accounts teacher where she always tell us that accounts need to practice cannot be memorize..She wonders why my dad telling her the same thing till i told her that my dad its an accountant...Then they kept talking and my dad told her that i am the better ones among the worst =.= oh well...She expects me to get an A for accounts tho....

After that, went over to my business maths lecturer, Ms Tey, She didn't say much on me but telling my dad that i'm quiet and i just giggle away lol...Didnt expect my dad to tell her that i always sit at home and msn all day till she got to say about me and ask me to do more exercise and spent more time on ur studies..coz next time u gonna be facing computers most of the time...eeek i know my assignment marks i got 8.67/10 lalalala my group members i mean..but oh well another lecturer expects me to get an A or A- also T___T...Then went to Intro to business lecturer he ah i dont know bah....he also expected me to get better grades on my mid exams but i think i made him dissapointed so yea....and he also expect me to do well in my coming final exams T___T to get at least a B or a B- oh well i really dont know what to say at all..Went to Mr.Wilson after that....well he also didn't expect so low on my marks too but gotta admit it was my careless mistakes if not wouldn't have gotten so low.....oh well.....he also had high hopes on me wants me to get at least a B or a B+ sigh i dont know la....

Really dont know why all the lecturers have high hopes on me made me really very very stressful la...but i really wants to get good grades thats what i wanna made it clear....If not i wouldn't study and even care about my studies at all...Still wanna thank my sister who supported me all this while...Not you guess i wouldn't be having such a high hopes from my lecturers...Well time to work harder to get better results....=D must have confidence...okie i need to go do hwk lala =D ciaoz....

Tired Day for Yesterday.

I just woke up this morning and i have nothing better to do other than my tutorials and some other assignment that will due next month....but i doubt they will start early AS USUAL! Ah i forgot today is the day of my "judgement" day coz taylor's today got parent's teacher day and my dad is going.....AHHH T____T oh well hopefully my lecturer will say good about if not DIE.....

Yesterday morning finally got moral class for me attend, but as usual la the class is like pasar malam(night market) so noisy =.= till Ms Thama my moral lecturer 'exploded' lol for some reason XD haha but i was busy doing my economics assignment that is due yesterday at 2pm oh well....because i did some part wrong and left out some part so went to Ms Thama and asked whether i can go off earlier and do the assignment, she said its ok so i went off to do my assignment in E-access 2 so i sat down there and do.....These foundations students i really got no comment la....They playing DOTA in -.- College Internet Room =.= People doing assignment there, they play games damn geng...Oh well so i finished and print it out then i ask my friend whether she done the Reference well as i expected she didn't do sooooo last minute work....Finally all done....Just have to wait for Jack's question 1...lalalalala

That day we dont have pass till 5pm and its 2 hours some more...but i dont mind lor....PLUS yesterday all the teacher's got Annual Staff Dinner that day itself and the stupid college all close at f-ing 2pm =.= i dont even know wanna go where till 5pm. So me and nic went to Sunway Pyramid to have a walk while i hunt for my niece's birthday present so went from one shop to another then finally bought her a musical box "cant take my eyes off you" with a nice box....soooo there you go....then went to popular buy some pens... and that time was already 4pm....So went to see cars coz -.- nic wants to see so off we go to see Volve C70 nice car two door lol..but volvo cars -_-" drink petrol like drinking water -.- oh well....

It's time for us to go back up to the car park then i saw NIKE shop =x so i went in to ssee whether the sling bag that i want izzit there...so browse around then OMG =x i found it.....lalalala they have blue and black but the blue one looks too flowery and i nvr like flowery bag so staring at the black sling bag i like it soooooo much but no money to buy sad......so i complain and complain then walk alll the way to Al-ikhsan to see whether they have it maybe its cheaper went there DONT HAVE T____T then went all the way back to nike and stare again sooo nvm i walk around and look look then i asked nic wanna go now? then he said wait so i waited and look around lor....cause my brother's bday coming wanna get something for him too....soooo i guess i will buy him the arsenal t-shirt....I shall buy it another day.....Oh well then suddenly nic came to and ask "yen, u really like the sling bag right?" I said yea then he gave it to me =.= I was like wtf -_-" then i told him take it back i will buy it myself and he said nvm i feel happy to buy it -.- ma de oh well anyway thx tho....WEEE i got my sling bag but sadly not i buy -.- oh well.....

Then went back to Taylor's all the teacher's and staff not around coz like i said ANNUAL DINNER....so went to the class and wait for PASS to start....so chit chat till Jasmin my economics Pass Leader came and we started....then we finished one lecture topic we had 5 mins break then she look at the stuffs i bought....lol....then we go on with the next lecture topic...by the time we finished its only 6.30pm but i told dad is at 7pm sooo nice of them accompany me at old town yam cha together while they taking their dinner...so sat there and chit chat lor....Somehow talk talk can go into family problem topic and Jasmin tried to gives us some solution to it....but its really a nice talk la....made me almost wanna cry but its ok....a really nice talk...talk till =.= my dad came and guess what's the time 8 pm =.= crazy right? but Jasmin and Nic accompany me coz nic have to send Jasmin home so she dont have to call her dad to pick her up lol....So went dinner and came rest coz i was really tired haven had class till 7pm its crazy....lol....
*we consists of me, Jasmin and nic

I went to bed earlier plus i am falling sick but before went to bed i talk to my sis awhile then went to bed coz i really cannot cannot stand somemore my flu irritates me =.= oh well....hate falling sick but no choice who asked my dad to be sick lol....

Picture of my Nike Sling Bag!! WEeEEEEE

Nothing Special but Sorry lek huai jiejie

Hmm....Nothing much of happening today but kinda as usual missed my sister a lot but don't really want to disturb her doing her homework...hehe

Today morning at college on the way to my locker i saw Su Zhen my pass leader (stated last few post) in E-Access 2 so went in a disturb her a bit plus i need to pass her the jason mraz - we sing we dance we steal original cd to her since she wants to lend it from me haha XD so gave it her and had some chit chat since my class starts at 9am =.= lol.....That girl a bit siao want no class come to college but in the end she came to college got things to do de.....to pass up her assignments and help taylor's to work "so good girl" *ahem* (dont kill me if u reading ah =x) haha then she said she also got PASS =.= so she needs to go lol....oh okie so chit chat till she needs to "work" so i went back to my class....haha well today didn't really happen much in college just the usual thing....but i bet Lek Huai my accounting Pass leader will murder me because i skipped her PASS today due to early morning thanks to Su Zhen says "whining" reminds me of my pet sister and made my mood goes down so i didn't go to PASS >< sorry Lek Huai jiejie T____T didn't meant to do so....dui bu qi ya....

After all my class i came home my mood get worst, missed my sister and also have stuff to settle with haiz...stress like hell tho >< but i also said before i take my sister as my idol or someone that i admire of not her i wouldn't be here just like my Erza jiejie and my Kali jiejie... 3 sisters supported me this far....Thank you so much =) came back from class so online and had dinner and now here i am blogging....

I missed my old memories i had when i am small and the growing up of me till now sigh lots of memories i had....Just like what Ms Chen said cherish the old times and now...really start to think back want to be happy just go on with your day by day in a happy way then you will be happy =) haha trying to do so....but i really wish there's someone that i can share my problems and people listen to me....i really hope that can happen and people actually understand what i going through right now oh well...nothing is perfect i cant expect much ahah....okie la i need to go to do my hwk ciaoz....

Felt lonely and left out at times

Don't really know what is wrong with me this few days...Been acting strange and always in the middle of no where i felt that i always get left alone or no one cares for me. I really don't know how to describe myself right now. The feeling is like i am lonely and always get emo for i myself don't know what is the main reason. Whenever someone tells me that he/she talking to jiejie and i feel that my jiejie don't wanna talk to me...Well i know she cares for me and i also know she don't have time for me cause she is busy with her work but sometimes i felt that i always get left out or maybe i just think too much...I understand her but sometimes its really hard for me, at least sometimes when i need her she will be there to help me out and advice me i appreciate that...Well i guess i just think too much bah...She told me before when her semester starts she wouldn't have much time with me soo yea...Oh well no matter what happens she is still my sister always.

Today i talked to my mom about jiejie, she said i shouldn't tell jiejie so much things and blah blah. Cause she scared later on we both might quarrel or anything else happen that can break me and jiejie up and i will get hurt badly. Well, i know sometimes jiejie will listens to me and jiejie wont tell much about herself but sometimes i really needed someone to listen to me when i am sad..I dont know whether me and jiejie later on will have anything happen between both of us. I really wish not. But no one will know what happen next time other than God. Will jiejie leave me alone or me and jiejie will have something happen and wont be sisters anymore? I guess if that happen i bet i will get hurt really bad.. Sometimes what my mum say its true, but i doubt it cause i trust jiejie wont be like that unless it really happens with my own eyes then i will believe. Sigh...sometimes other people tells me something about her that i don't know oh well but usually she will tell me but its abit later on..What i wish for now is hopefully she comes to my birthday party coming soon i hope she can come or maybe will she even remember when is my birthday but oh well that doesn't matter i just wish/hope she can comes thats all i want this year cause she is my sister...Hope i can have this dream come true all i can do is pray and hope..Well i will stop here no point writing on ciaoz...

Early in the morning made me angry or should say EMO

As usual i got up earlier today due to need to go for community service with my friends..So woke up and saw my mom so i wished her. Then chat with her while i switched on my computer. The laptop is on then i surf the net and on my Msn. I saw a few people are online so msg them and had a chat while i go and read people's blog in the morning noticing whether did they update or wutever.

I read finish all my secondary school gang friends blog went to read that 'guy' blog somehow i got F-ing angry about it. Actually yesterday i am already angry about it, just i thought maybe he didn't meant it so i didn't bother then today i saw his new post i got really angry already.Well if he doesn't trust or think that i will take his present that he wants to give it to my good friend sherryn why did he wants me to pass it to her? And why would I want that stupid RM100 voucher to buy stuff from nike? I am not so CHEAPO and i wont want people's stuff that it doesn't belongs to me. The next thing i am angry is he said this in his blog "i felt that one person which i don't want to mention names made me very disappointed even though taking things from me also never wishing me or anything. Just a greeting would have been nice and now that person has given me doubt that she treats me as a friend or a tool. but best not to think about it. and i also donno if the gift i gave out to the friend who has the same bday as me got sanded thru or not coz i did not want to give it personally as it is giving it to my old gang and i did not want to see some people there(who have threaten me and stab me in the back). haiz really the more i think about it the more i feel as if they are still using some means to use me as a tool." WTF is this? Its more like he is the one who everytime wants to fetch me home and always the want who ask me to teach him stuff....I did not ask him to fetch me back home, he is the one who F-ing offers. WTF man...I gave him a chance to change and he is still being an asshole. I should have like sherryn ignore him till the rest of the semester. Dammit...Its more like he is taking advantage on me than me taking advantage of him. I don't understand why people says i taking advantage of him -_-" wtf man.....early in the morning make me angry fuk....

Haha Pass Leader Gone Crazy

Hmm, nth much to blog about today...Although today i really don't have mood but oh well its okie...sigh sigh sigh....

Tomorrow need to go for community service in Klang =.= so far away i know.....bah doing community service for my moral assignment -_-" its not easy though.....I still dont know why do we have to learn moral....WHY!!!!!Say until moral =.= i should say my lecturer got no moral want -.- Always go to her class then last minute CLASS CANCELLED -_-" today also the same dont know we all kena how many F-ing times and the lecturer didn't even bother to replaced it..If i failed this moral exam i shall blame her =.= but luckily i know another lan lecturer from my college to help me and a very close lecturer with me...so its alright if i dont have that no moral lecturer to teach me =.= stupid de....If i can "fry" her =.= i think i will "fry" her off the college, in short meaning complain her and let her get sack =x haha...

OH no! my daddy is back from Hong Kong...No more freedom for me.....sigh sigh i got back my results haven even let him know ahhhhhhh i dont know what's gonna be his reaction when he knows T____T will i get killed???will i get scolded??? oh well i really dont know.....haha but then i am ready to get screwed.....oh well...

OH almost forgot, today i went to Peer Assisted Study Session(PASS) for my business maths whereby there's a senior teaching us sooo yea...i am the only one there she, Su Zhen got a shocked and said thank you for coming if not i will be so" kelian" (pityful) to be alone...oh well i cannot break promise cause i promise her that i will be going for her PASS because i will need her help due to i am not good at it and whenever going to exam i will ask her out to teach me before going for exams....haha but then when we having PASS today so she said since only you one person can play songs...So i left my handphone song on so it kept playing and playing then she hear until some songs she like she went "OMG i want the song i want the song bluetooth it to me" lol.....dont know how many times already lol....then carry on teaching me again and she suddenly turn to me and ask me how much did i get for my business maths marks? i told her i get 32/50 she was happy for me but i told her that i not happy with it coz i made a few careless mistakes on my MCQs then she said its ok you will do better in finals soooo i will be listen to her and oh well coz she is my pass leader mah plus she said 32/50 consider very good edi plus she is happy for me so i should be happy haha so after that she carry on teaching me till....then suddenly she hear until pocketful of sunshine song by natasha bedingfield she went "OMG i want!!!! send send to meeeeeee"lol so i sent it to her...then she go on with teaching me then we chit chat and she teach also.....Then she started saying " now i know who to find for songs lol...." oh well i am willing to give u all my songs to you haha!!!! i dont mind burning it into a cd for u too....lol...haha soooo she teach me till 3.00pm then PASS over...we chit chat while we packing and waited for lift and go to ground floor while she went to 1st floor put back the file =P haha....Anyway, Su Zhen my pass leader for Business Maths she is super nice and friendly but then abit crazy at times =x lol....She is my jiejie in short coz we call over pass leader jiejie LOL haha.....okie la need to go do my work ciaoz...

My results for 2nd semester Mid term exam

I just got back my result not long ago the last paper i took it was today. Overall i did ok, but as usual i always have an expectations of getting for each paper but got 2 subjects i din do very well is my macroeconomics and my introduction to business. I like macroeconomics a lot but i didn't get a very good results and i know it's because of my essay part i screwed it up a lot. I was very disappointed in myself that i din get a really good result for my macroeconomics or maybe i like the subject till i gave my own expectations too high. Introduction to business not i don't like the subject but its very similar to form 4 and form 5 Perdagangan last time =/ i feel its hard for me but i still tried to study and understand each and everything of the lecture notes that my lecturer gave. After this result i have gotten, I told myself i must work hard for my final exam i don't wanna fail any subjects and getting a B- for any of my subjects i need to work hard. So nowadays been pushing myself to study more and do more revisions then go to PASS session that my senior is teaching us, all of them willing to help us but sometimes many people didn't wanna go and the senior have no choice but have to close down the PASS class. Oh well but i hope those PASS class wont cancel cause i really need the seniors to help me.

My result for my mid semester exams:
Introduction to business = 10.25/20
Macroeconomics = 11.5/20
Business Mathematics = 12.8/20
English = 13.62/20
Accounts = 14.5/20
Accounting Individual Assignment = 7.5/10

Overall i did good, my gang of friends also did good some of the subs they are better than me some i am better than them by abit but i dont wanna compare coz we are all the same and we are humans also have feelings also but i am also happy abit with my result but to me i still can do better. Final exams i will work hard i wont give up on myself i will go on till the end. Because i know lyn jiejie and even the jiejie i miss for almost a year would support me too. okie gtg i need to do work.

To my sister i knew for a long time. To Erza aka Rachel

Not really happy today...something really been bothering me a very very long time. Just i didn't say it put for about a year or so? After SPM over till now i kept it to myself didn't even take it out and talk to people about it. Sometimes its really hard for me but i still go on with it no matter how much i missed her i still kept it to myself and think about her almost everyday. Since the day she stop talking to me till now i still thinks about her everyday. You might think i might be crazy but i treat all my sister the same. They are very important to me, anyone of them in trouble i would be sad and tried to help and also be there for them. That's what i usually do.

Last time i use to blog about her but sadly she couldn't read it at all coz i dont even know will she talks to me again on msn or even an e-mail from her or even a friendster comment from her i've been waiting the day to arrive since 30th of december till now. Finally the day that i have waited finally arrived. That sunday morning i tried my luck and left her a comment on her friendster because usually every month i will her a comment but recently i very busy so didn't bother that day tried i thought it would be the same but that night i checked my friendster there's a new comments sign showed on my profile so i thought it might not be her maybe someone else but surprisingly was her. I waited the day for such a long long time she finally left me a comment. I was really happy to see her comment but as usual she is always worried about me. I always let her worried about me i felt so bad.

I met her in pko for quite a long time before we even went for SPM, whenever i am sad or down she is always there for me to guide and advice me. She knows i will never let her down because i always listens to her and also always tried to make her happy whenever she is sad. Once i remember my friends that i use to had online wasnt happy with me at all and they went to her and talk about it, then that night she tried to talk to me about it. No matter what she said or what i know she wants me to be good thats why i didn't blame them for telling her. Plus she is my sister obviously they would go to her and they knows i always listens to her.But sadly i always made her sad and scared that she would me as a sister due to last i had health problem. Now i still do just its getting better and i didn't bother to go for checkup not like last time she always forces me to go and doesn't want her to worry so i went but now i'm all alone no one to supports me other than lyn jiejie but she didn't really know that i have this problem but jiejie i'm sorry i made u worry but i am not the same person as the last time you know me...I've changed a lot but i got to admit that I missed you everyday since the day i couldn't talk to you or even e-mail u. You are my sister and you always are, i love you forever. Sorry too always made you worried and shocked and i really dont know what else to say other than a sorry to you. Meimei feels sorry to you all i gonna say now is I'm sorry jiejie. This post its for you after so long.

What a day....

Well today as usual woke up and went for jogging...then went breakfast with my mom and bought some vegetables and fish to cook in the afternoon...Came home i rest awhile and the gang came together for kimmy's birthday surprise party...

The gang came and we sat down then we chit chat and do some catch up because been a really really long time since we met each other and also been a long time since we had our group gathering...then i start to ask them what's their plan and see whether they want to eat or not cause i have already eaten my lunch my mom cooked...Then they finally decided to order domino's pizza so i called them and ordered at about 1.10...After that ee may started to be impatient so i called kimmy and asked where is she...Then she said "I'm leaving the house now" So i went to the fridge and took out the cake from the fridge then they light it up....The pizza came 1st before kim actually reach my hse...-.-....Kim finally came and i tried to hold her up but i couldnt T_T in the end she saw there's a light inside the house and surprise...well i kinda blow it off but still she did surprised also oh well....They sat down happily eating the cake pizza and drinking sprite.All of us chit chatting and eating and that stupid zhilin =.= keep asking me to go japan and cry like the girl in the tvb show "seventh day" i dont know why must it be me T___T So we plan to go starbucks for a coffee, since zhi drove here so she drove us to starbucks so she can happily do her hwk there....Went there ordered and carry on our catch up there....ARGH i am tired =.= to go on writing forget it....Just not in a right mood now...

I not in the mood because last time i am close to a person and now we rarely even talk to each other not even talked on the phone or even sms or even on msn....it drives me crazy sometimes...When someone is close to u and now bah not anymore its really made me feel like i am not important anymore....sigh....Sometimes wanna find someone to talk to dont know who to find other than my jiejie but sometimes she is busy well i know when is she busy and when she is not....When she busy she wont pick up my calls and wont reply me on msn well i know she is busy and i dont blame her or wutever..I willing to be the one who suffer and care for her...coz i am a person who doesnt want my sister or anyone else to be sad...Although sometimes i really wants someone to care for me but i wont mind anything....but sometimes i really feel that jiejie does care for me its just she just doesnt actually have time to that...Oh well, as long as my jiejie is happy i wont mind suffering or wutever....that's all i gonna say...coz she is my sister and i want her to be happy not sad...Just want to be there for her whenever she needs someone that's what i always do...anyway love u always my jiejie...especially kali, lyn, von and trin jiejie =)

Someone i miss and treated as my family all this long...

Just feel like blogging cause i missing someone...Didn't really talk to her much this week cause she is back home for holidays either today or tomorrow she will only back to cyber....I don't know why nowadays i am not in the mood and wants someone to talk to, i just feel like i'm useless although i know many people will say that i'm not even the person i miss too...

Well i know she is always supporting me behind my back eventhough she always busy with his work and all but sometimes she also will at least spents sometime with me though i know she have lots of things to do...Jie eventhough you didnt spent much time with me, meimei knows that you are always at my side supporting me no matter how busy you are...Sometimes i might hurt or make you angry i'm sorry but no matter what you are always my jiejie that i know for almost a year...Like what i said not you supported me since the day i started college i wont have such good results and have the will to study...Jiejie, you made me understand that if you work hard you will achieve results with flying colours...The more effort you put in to it, the more you will achieve...That's what i learn...Jiejie always busy with work so hardworking, you know jiejie is someone i admire all this long since the day i know you.

Although i know jiejie not really very long but i feel like i know you for like many many years already but jiejie always busy busy but in the end always wake up really late...jiejie ah dont see your meimei dont know you oh actually ah i know many things about you oh....You know i've been thinking if i dont know jiejie and u didnt support me ah i guess now in college i think i failed and will be working now....i guess jiejie's the one who is always supporting and always there for me when i need you or even when i am really down and wants someone to talk to....i really glad that i know you..Remember the day i went to Hong Kong, you said you will miss me and then the day i left for Hong Kong jiejie said webcam with me...Then i smsed you when i was in Hong Kong mom's phone got your phone and i didn't know my mom called you....jieije also didnt tell me my mama called well understand geh mom ask you not to tell me...haha i bet my mama tell you lots of my notty stuff....haha when you come my hse i take you go my baby sitter house i bet you will know more of my notty stuff haha jiejie ah you are always part of my family....and always in my heart....i loves you always and miss you always too

Will stop here now need to go do some homework....I love you jiejie always forever and ever....Jiejie always part of my family, jiejie is always my family love you always ...muacks....thanks for everything you have done for me...=D

Emo Leads to A Better Thinking to my Sister

Been a really long time since i actually blog...Nowadays, i have been really moody, no mood at all, cant really have a positive thinking...I always get pissed off at anyone very easily and i explode very very easily, i seriously don't know what else to do..Past few days i've been thinking what is wrong with me and all but i cant think...I'm getting really really feel very useless..haiz T_T I am so stress pressured and moody...Always make ppl angry i am really useless right?

I always not happy go and find my lyn jiejie when she is busy. If i am not her sister i guess she wont be helping me so much and supporting me always want to make me happy whenever i have problems eventhough she is busy she will try to spent some time with me to make me happy. She always there for me when i really need her by my side i really appreciate a lot..That day i ask my friend to pass present to her with a letter, when she received it, she sms me and said "wei,why you buy so many things?zzz. You want to die arr.." Whenever i buy her stuff and give it to her she will surely say " You wanna die ar" Then she read the letter, she said very touched by my letter. Jiejie what i wrote in the letter its all true. If not jiejie always support me behind i think i wont be studying so well and plus see jiejie always so hardworking being ur meimei really feel like if i not hardworking its a bit so wrong. Jiejie always someone i admire and also someone i wanna follow de footsteps. I still remember no matter how busy is my jiejie, you will always be there to help me jiejie ah i will surely get goods result and wont let jiejie disappointed. No matter what if jiejie not happy meimei always here for you de wont let you down at all. Meimei suffer how much also never mind coz its worth it for my princess jiejie because i want my jiejie to be happy not sad. Jiejie always in my heart.

This post not only goes to lyn jiejie. It also goes to kali jiejie, you also always there for me when i need someone to talk to thank you. I really want you all to know that your meimei forever here for you when you need me because i doesnt want you all to be sad...No matter how much i suffer i willing to be here for you because you all are very important to me. I think i will stop here, i am tired already goodnight.

Jiejie you always in my heart, even i suffer till i die i will always be there for you when you need me or whenever jiejie not happy need me i will surely be there for you because my princess jiejie is always important to me and always in my heart forever. Love you forever and ever my princess jiejie.

Macroeconomics Dead....

Sorry i didnt blog much nowadays. I dont have the mood to blog many things had happen in this past weeks. I got very stressed out and pressured but i still tell myself not to give up go on with it no matter what there's somebody supporting you. I still going on with it. Today its my 2nd semester mid exam, Macroeconomics is my favourite subject overall and i have confident that i will score for it because i had already prepared earlier. So went to college as usual and revise back what i had study before, then suddenly i dont know why i suddenly got so stressed out and pressured almost forgot all the notes but luckily it did not...then i tried to relax myself but still cant then my heart starts to pain i dont know why...after awhile it gets better and i get relax....My friend came to college and we had a group study for awhile then went to old town for lunch, so we sat there to eat and study as well.
After eating and studying, its time for us to walk to MPSJ hall for our exam so we walked there under the hot sun, i smsed lyn jiejie and tell her i going for the exam and i was really scared i needed her but i doubt she is awake or she is at class anyway, i offed my phone and check my name on the list and see where i sat. I looked and saw my number is 02 i got a shocked anyway forget it sooo went into the hall and i told my fren good luck and may god bless us...Coz we really very scared. So sat there and my microeconomics teacher ms rabiah told us what to do and she said we can start now... So i happily open the booklet and do the MCQ, after awhile i finished the MCQ so i do the calculations for section B count lor...then suddenly my brain went blank, i couldnt think and dont know what was i doing but i still kept on writing on the answer booklet...I carry on doing till i finished the essay where i know my essay i wrote craps and i know there i lose 10marks but the others i really din know what i wrote i doubt the answer is correct. Then my microeconomics teacher said time is up so i stop writing and Mr Wilson my macroeconomics teacher came up to collect the answer booklet. I gave him the booklet and turn to Sharon and ask she know's how to do? then me bryan and her kept talking about it till i found out that i might have some wrong answers and most of my calculations are wrong and i started to wanna cry i really wanted to cry at that time when i heard about it...Then after that i on back my phone and smsed lyn jiejie, told her about it. Went to yam cha with my frens then sherryn mom's here she went home the others went CC to play games. I went back to tbs sat down there and called ying talked to her about it while talking to her then my phone starts to have the sms coming in. Then i straight told ying i talk to her later. So i read the sms from lyn jiejie asked me "what happen ar? I just woke up going to class now. Tell me later ar." then i told her okie....As usual came back by bus, then came back to the hse and cooked maggie to eat then sat down and watch Moonlight Resonance (ka hou yue yun in cantonese) finished the episode then mom came back and i smsed lyn jiejie and i started crying...She tried to make me happy i know she tried to be there for me like how i be there for her i appreciate.

This is to my lyn jiejie if u ever read my blog:
Jie i know meimei promised i wont let u down in my studies and i remember i promise that i will study hard. But this time i think meimei let u down already jiejie, i might failed this exam and wont be able to study already. I am really useless, study so much and in the end get nothing useless right? i really wanna give up u know jiejie after thinking i will lose so many marks for my favourite subject i really no mood my heart totally pain and crying...I really feel like giving up i really no mood at all been stressing up like crazy i really wanna give up but something stopped me from giving up. You know what stopped me from giving up? Its what i wrote in the letter and what meimei promise you before. I said jiejie is my idol not you i wont be here today studying so hard and worked hard for my exam.Not jiejie who supported me all this while i guess i would have gave up earlier on. Now still the same, i know jiejie always care for me and support me if not jiejie wont sms me back, this is why no matter what happen how hard this road is meimei wont give up coz of one exam i wont give up...I know that jiejie will support me right? I love u always jiejie...Thanks for always being here for me jiejie..Not meimei always being there for u, u also always being here for me jiejie...Thank you so much no matter what jiejie always my sister nvr change...Thanks jiejie i love u forever and miss you.

Presents for my 2 princess sister

Today i wasn't feeling very well having slight fever but in the end it finally went down but i was still worried it might go back quite high T_T eventhough i have fever i still went to college for lecture class and one replacement class for english but it was really tired for me coz i was really tired and almost falling asleep in class today....not i dont wanna rest at home mainly because my mid term exam around the corner and i have today's lecture is one of my worst subject and that is business maths oh well the class till 11 i tried to stand and not sleeping till 11 then wooooo hoooooo class finally over....!!!!!My friends all wanna go sunway so i followed lor...went there kaikai then went to dragon i for foood....then after the foood paid already then we went to faber castel then went speedy for my jason mraz cd but in the end my friends left me alone so i walk all on my own....

After buying the cd I actually went to hunt Final Fantasy Figure for my jiejie coz i know she likes Final Fantasy geh.....in the end i walk from one end of sunway pyramid to the other i bought one for her thats the nicest i can find in that shopping mall.....no matter how expensive is it also worth buying because i bought it also coz i know she likes FF and also i just want to make her smile and happy also worth it geh...i bet she will scold me tho....T_T i hope she wont scold bah...coz i know this few days she has been stressing up a lot and also sick then not really happy i hope i can make her feel happy bah....jiejie ah this figure i walk few rounds and found this figure is the nicest so i bought it for u hope u like it bah....I hope u get well soon bah jiejie....i love u muacks.....sorry ah =x just to let u know =x this final fantasy figure cost me RM 99 how expensive also nvm as long as my jiejie happy i am happy liao le.....=DDDDD love u forever muacks....

I have something for kali jiejie also but then i dont know how to give it to her T_T she is sooooooooo far away.....jiejie ah u support me so much i dont know how to say leh this is something that i bought for u toooo XD hehe remember the cute thingy i bought that time one of them is for u....being ur sister din buy stuff for u some more u help me so much i feel bad tho....hope ya like it....eheh ai si ni.....wo de princess jiejie i love u forever hehe jiejie ah =x dont angry ah cause i buy something for u =x
This bubblegum figurine i bought for her there's a quote saying:
What is a Friend?? A friend is someone very dear who shares your hopes and dreams, who shows you that the greyest day is brighter than it seems.

This is one is for my princess lovely meow aka lyn jiejie de =D hope u like it

This one is for princess kali jiejie de =x hehe hope u like it XD

no title is needed

Sigh i really dont know what to say but i really hate him a lot...always scolds me without a reason....just like today i came back from college "quite" early....then he was back and he tot that i went out with ppl -_-" man i have class and i just took the bus back like that also get scolded -_-" wth......U scolded me ytd i already din say anything at all and now -.- scold me more wtf man....yea yea u cared for me my ass....in your eyes i am always the worst and i can nvr succeed in life but i will show u that i WILL nvr FAIL for my diploma in business subs all i gonna study on....nvr ever gonna let u look down on me.....u made me understand what is the pressure and the willness for me to study and work hard...i just hate u.....yea u buying me stuff and all that doesn't mean much but still scolding me saying i staying here and treat here as a hotel man....-.- i dont know what u want me to do i going out with mum also kena what u want me to do T_T i just hate it la....i already having pressure with college and now u saying all this what the hell.....this might be a good song to u....i just hate u and for wut u do u get this in return....


I'm an asshole - denis leary

Sorry to jiejie

This post specially for my jiejie who i treated her as my real sister after all....i made a mistakes and i really wish jiejie would forgive me...Meimei really didnt mean to make u angry i just want to ask jiejie plus meimei din know u moving in 1st september i am sorry ok jiejie T_____T i know jiejie's situation and mine almost the same...because of jiejie's hardwork and support made me wanna work hard not u i wouldn't be working so hard...i should be grateful to myself to have you as my jiejie....not u i wouldn't be able to have the will to study....You know jiejie in my eyes you are always my idol and someone to follow with you know....you made me understand what is hard work and effort you had put in and you will actually score for it...I remember jiejie came to my hse that time and told me that dont play games le study hard, and i told u that i will do so and i promise u i will get good result and study...I don't wanna let u down, meimei dont wanna break promise and i wanna prove to my dad and myself that i can get good results and i wont fail i wanna do it....If not meimei wont work so hard always sleep late or i don't sleep at all i really want to do this i will be happy for it....I just want jiejie to know that jiejie meant a lot to me...and i didn't mean to make u angry....Jiejie always in my heart and u are someone who encourages me to study i love u so much....i hope jiejie will forgive me....sorry lyn jiejie, dui bu qi.....



Sorry-Buckcherry
Oh i had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when i see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.

This time i think i'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when i see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.

Every single day i think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah Sorry!

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry.

Rubbish.........

Hmm i know i posted just now but i am bored and i feel like telling everything all out if not i really feel like bursting out....haiz...what can i do?? i really feel like saying this out but i couldnt post it here because i dont want all to know sigh....i am very very fan T__T what can i do??? hard for me to focus on my studies and also i couldnt even sleep well at night T_T sigh...its not easy for me to go on with this road T___T very very tough for me to go on =( one person to go on with this road is really tough i wish my brother is really here with me....life really not easy T_T haiz....wish i have a happy life....but luckily i have kali jiejie, meow jiejie and red korkor around...if not i really cannot go on thx but sometimes its really hard for me to go on my life...but its really tough...to go on with this road....argh!!!!! crying really cant solve the problem but everytime after crying i feel soo much better...but ppl will say i am crying baby -_-" but i feel a lot better...life like this really tough...T_T ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh si liao suan le bah...bu yong jiang fan....thats the best.....thats how i feel now....who will care this useless girl here....hard for me to go on...i cannot do anything at all...i really feel like a useless girl and cannot do anything...all i can do is sit here and do nothing....

Random.....just wanna tell it out

Don't really know why i am blogging now but oh well....Time really passes very fast another new day hard to believe the day i doesnt want it to come and it really came soon....Although its really hard for me to go on but i still have to face it on my own...I wish my brother is here with me to go through this together but he is gonna face his exam soon soo he cant come sigh...I have to do this all alone.. T_T if i get to choose who to go with i would really be happy to do so but sadly i cant....Nowadays been thinking what will happen if this happen and what will if this wont happen will i still have a happy time? i tell ppl and ppl told me not to think too much...guess i really think too much but i will be going to the "torture chamber" on tuesday dont feel like going but i have to go T_T i wish i am dead by now then i dont have to go at all and i dont have to be sooooo fan like now made me cant sleep well every night...suffering like crazy...U always wish to be like this but it always turns out the other way round i really dont understand sometimes...well i guess life always have ups and downs but i guess mine is always on the down side huh.....

Lets talk about something else bah....

College life now still consider ok...but still a bit hard for me to cope up with...some still can understand some i need the reference book but i know as long as i work hard i will really succeed i dont wanna let anyone who have hopes on me to be disappointed...and also i doing this for myself not because of a promise or anything i want to tell myself that i can actually do it...i can actually score good grades...but i dont know why his blog(nic) always have to talk about me... i really dont understand....why just because of one small thing and u doesnt talk to me i dont get it....but to me i dont care at all whatever u doing or u talking to me or not is not gonna affect me at all....To me now studies are more important than anything else...nth can replace that place...Studies now is my 1st priority now...

hmmm really happy that dad bought me a new phone w880i something that i wanted quite awhile but really weird that why did he bought it for me? he rarely buy things for me and now he buying me a phone thats a bit weird....but still i got to thank him...maybe he bought this for me as a reward? or maybe coz of the "torture chamber"? i dont know....oh well dont wanna think about it but still thanks dad....If you happen to read my blog i know why did that happen and i doesn't hate u for that because no matter what you are still my dad but i know that you are sorry for that....=) love u dad....

argh....i got homework to do but i am lazy to do so...oh well i shall stop here....need to get prepared to get to go "torture chamber" on tuesday....cya tataz

One of my happy day it was a wednesday...

Well been a really long time since i really blog...I gonna blog about Wednesday that was one of my best day ever i can say that i really enjoyed myself and i was actually excited and DAMN kan chiong...oh well this is how it went...

Early in the morning hmm i woke up like usual morning but that stupid sms woke me up..from beloved one of my pko friend staying near my hse...so she asked wanna go out or not for breakfast or something? so i said ok lor...Then she came to my house, then we went to mcd for "breakfast and lunch" that time was already 10 something 11...So we went to Mcd then i said i want to meet my pet sister meow aka lyn jiejie who really cared for me alot....really want to meet her and give her the mountain of prezzies i bought for her....

Hmm so i decided to call her and ask what is she doing well somehow i forgot that day was 30th July it was her registration day...so called her and she said she is driving coz today was the day of registration then i pass the phone to bel and they talk....then after that i din wanna disturb herdriving coz its DANGEROUS after putting down the phone then bel started to suggest that we go watch a movie and all coz my dear jiejie only know sunway so i smsed her wanna go watch movie??? then she smsed now when i wanna smsed back SHE CALLED lol....sooooo practically she said she U-turn de soooo me and bel said ok la we meet u there so rushed back home and changed and all I WAS damn excited and bel said i was KAN CHIONG well gotta admit i really happy to meet jiejie u know....soooo quickly take everything and followed beloved back home to change also....so we walked outside to get a cab under the HOT sun....get 2 cabs and both doesnt wanna take us to sunway...so we waited and there's one more coming i said sooo we get that cab and HOOOORAAAAAYYYYYY he will take us to sunway pyramid....the taxi driver really a nice guy very honest....XD so we reached there and took the taxi driver number and walalalalala we are there at SUNWAY.....

We reached there earlier and walk around to the cinema to see to watch what show then jiejie called and asked where were we...sooooo went back down and went to meet jiejie...first sight i saw her and i knew it was her....so we went to the cinema to buy tickets to watch kung fu hip hop at 3.20 after that went to italiannies for lunch eat till bloated....i paid for it coz i promised jiejie i treat her italiannies and i finally did....cost me RM 55.80 i paid 50 and jiejie paid RM 10 for me but oh well....after that we went to walk around then watch movie....nice movie and funny tho XDDDD haha after movie she fetch us home and was at my hse for awhile...then had dinner with my mom near my hse at the One Noodle restaurant...hehe then went home we sat at my hse and chit chat till 9pm then jiejie went back...i finally gave her my present i bought for her i really happy to see that she likes the prezzie and happy with it...jiejie u know all this while i am happy to have u as my sister who cares for me thank you jiejie....love u forever and muacks....

We went out today again will post again when i get the pics from meow aka lyn jiejie and beloved 1st =D

hehe me and meow aka lyn jiejie at italiannies

One of my bad day i guess?

Just recently i don't really have time for anything coz of assignments, my personal problem,family problems and also worried about my sisters especially the two that i love most pat and meow aka lyn. Well i really worried about my college coz exams are getting really nearer and i haven actually studied >_<

Today i got really stressed out and pressured by my dad cause he kept want me to study and study i really very stress...well i know he wants me to study its for my own good but i also need a break...well i quarreled with him for awhile and then he told me that he might me getting divorced with my mom....i was LIKE bah.....i lose concious of myself i dont know what to do....well this have already expected coz my parents not in a talking terms for quite sometime and not sleeping in the same room for quite sometime...whenever they talk they will quarrel sometimes it does disturb my studies...i really love both of them a lot...but sometimes what they do really hurt my feelings a lot no matter what happen there's a person woke me up that i should appreciate your parents and also love them coz no matter how much they scold you shows that they care for you...but i really dont wanna see this to happen....i know that if my mom fights for me or my dad it will nvr happen because my mom aint have that amount of money to support us, but if its really fighting for it and everything gonna happen i really want to tell my mom that whatever happens i will really wanna follow my mom wherever she goes....she is the one who cares and love me most eventho she shows it indirectly....i really loves her most....i dotn mind following my dad either coz i know that what he does to me and all he shows that he care i really love him after he changes himself to a better person.....i really wish they wont get divorced and be happy together again.....its really hard for me....

I really wish i can go to somewhere nice and peace for me to relax it out many things cant control it to happen but i really wish it didnt happen....Its really tough and hard but i still have to go on....no choice its my pathway and i will have to go on no matter how hard the road is...i wish there is someone there to support me i cant do this alone >_<

To my jiejie: anyway jiejie i really loves u and care for u whenever u need me my phone is always on...no matter what happens i am here to support you....love u always u know jiejie....u meant a lot to me....

korkor go sleep pls.....u dont sleep i will take parang and kill u -.- dont make me do that but if i do (someone will kill me) =x nitenite

I Miss You Sooo Much!!!

Been a really long time since i blogged....Tomorrow i am going to awana genting with my coursemates and lecturers....After i met my philipines pet sister and also started to realized many things...As you know that i last time doesnt like my dad always say dad not good and hate him alot....but now i respect him alot....I can see that he really cared and loves me a lot....i really loves him so much as my dad and respect him....He made me realized what i like and what i wants in the future....Now i gonna spent all my time study and i dont really wanna spent so much time on anything else....now i really know what means by Workhard now and enjoy later....i really know what my future ones and everything....

All these while i miss her a lot, but she is always busy with her homework...well i understands her, homework is more important than anything else...I've tried to ask her out but she always busy with homework...really missed her a lot...haven talk to her for a very very long time...i miss her everyday and loves her alot...She cares about me a lot always helps me when i need someone then sometimes i need someone to talk to she is there to help me i really loves her a lot...next friday is her birthday i planning to ask her out but i scared she will say "i'm sorry mei i got work to do" but i do understand everything if u said that i know jiejie's homework really comes 1st dont worry about it have nvr blame jiejie before i love u a lot just want u to know that....i bought her presents i really loves her i really wish i can celebrate birthday with her and give her a nice memory of it for her since she had told me she had nvr had a birthday cake before and all i really wish i can do something to it...i loves her a lot and i really want her to be happy......jiejie if you ever read this i really want you to be happy...and i really want to celebrate birthday with you because you are my sister i love the most and miss you the most jiejie....i love u alot....Jie i bought u some birthday presents i really hope that you will like what i give u cannot say dont want de ok...i love u a lot...

Need to go to bed going genting tomorrow goodnight....busy day.....i gonna go now.....

Miss you a lot...

Been awhile since i blog....i've been busy with my college many unhappy things happen but i dont have the time to blog...now if i dont blog i really dont know who else to tell it to....

I've started college going to 4th weeks..Before the college started i was really worried that i might not able to use to it but my pet sister who i treated her as my real sister all this while supported me behind telling me i will enjoy college life and i will get use to it....As time passes by i really getting use to it and had really fun in college with my new friends, there's people always play prank on me as usual but i already get use to it....Although this had happen i told her about it and she do told me the same thing, she also said that dont bother about them cause you are there to study all this while she cared for me....No matter i am sick or twisted my ankle she is there for me...Now in college, there's this guy in my group tutorial class and also we had lunch together with a gang of friends including him, i found out that he likes me...I couldn't talk to her about this because she hasn't been online even i sms her no reply...unless i call her but i really dont feel like bothering her because she is always busy drawing and doing homework.....Many things happen in college i just didnt say i kept it to myself...its really tough for me...I've been pissing off with my college friends and i got easily angry now a days at my college friends....i have no more patience i lose patience with them....sigh i really can't take it anymore....I really wish she is right here with me....I miss her so much i really wanna talk to her but i dont know how.....College been a really tough life for me right now many assignments due next month class test and online quiz next week...many homeworks not done what else can i do?? sigh i really dont know what to do i really need someone to talk to i really wish she is right here for me right now....but i dont blame her for not talking to me i understand that she needs to do her homework...but i really miss her alot...

Jie if you are reading i really miss you alot and i appreciate that all this while u tried your best to make me happy eventhough jiejie arent happy but mei wanna apologize that i couldnt help jiejie when jiejie is not happy and also always make jiejie upset i am so sorry....Meimei really miss you alot...I love u jiejie thx for everything you have done....I think you should know who you are when u read this.....meimei really feel thankful to have you as my sister but i really give u burden alot i am really sorry....meimei really feel bad that i always disturb u really sorry....mei always make u angry i hope jiejie wont angry at me i am sorry anyway...jiejie i love u always miss u alot.....i treat the goofy as u...the goofy i bought for u i hug it everyday coz i really miss u T___T......

ETS farewell

At redbox Sunway enjoying the last time together
After performance and we about to leave to redbox group pic



After so many days, I had left English Tertiary Study from UTAR i miss every single one of them...We have showed a family in this 1 mth...We studied together, do drama together, sing together, eat together we do everything together in this 1mth.....We even laugh and joke around all day when teacher is teaching in front....All the jokes all i really miss it alot....And also of course how could i forgets Ms. Evelyn our lovely teacher...She is nice and lovely we can like joke with her, when we have problems or sad in class she will be there for us, well even the Journal i wrote was kinda sad for me but then she is there to cheer me up and tell me that she is there when i need someone to talk to....She is like my 2nd mother to us...We really miss Ms Evelyn, Ms Eileen and of course ETS mates.....I miss all of you alot.....You guys are like my brothers and sisters to me....Hope we get to meet each other again in future...LOVE YA ALL........I will blog about what happen yesterday later tonight or so....

Love Problems and Some Craziness

Oh well....I didn't really blog much now a days because i kind off busy with my assignments, homework and also my debate for tomorrow...I kinda preparing everything and also now a days have to study because after chinese new year i have a final exam and also an exhibition to do...So now a days really really very tiring have to settle sooo many things...plus kinda having more and more problems for me to solve....
Sigh i really wish i have a person is here for me and care for me of course my jiejie is doing that edi but i want someone more important i wish he is here.....but oh well we have agreed to have a break but i really still miss him if i say i dont miss him and want to forget him its totally a lie man.....i really really miss him alot but like i said i am fine just wanna have a break and i still felt bad that i dont trust him its my fault i still put that blame on me oh well... but then what is done is done cant really turn back already got to just face it......I really hope my ex bf can leave me alone for now i really cant stand it anymore, no matter what i tell him and all that i have a bf edi and all he stills bothering me he doesnt care at all he is damn desperate to have me and need me....calling me everyday and night one night can call me 50 times =.= i really dunno what this guy wants from me trying to get a replacement?using me?trying to hurt me again? i really dunno alot of questions mark around my head i really dunno whether he really likes me or even there for me...probably accept me edi and then dump me fro another girl again after he met another girl? I really dont want it to happen to me again i dont wanna get hurt from the same person again....the scar havent recovered fully and getting another stab i dont want it to happen again....sigh tough tho.....
Enough of that back to about ytd.....well ytd was PUBLIC HOLIDAY wooot so woke up kinda late then got to go buy dictionary for my english course because my dictionary was tooo small and i dont get use to it so went to ikano the popular there to get it...So went there got what i want and went to the counter to pay -.- SUCH A LONG QUEUE =.= because there's ONLY ONE counter open damn lame =.= probably i stand in that line probably HALF an hour =.= damn stupid.....after i paid then brought mom to go eat then bought some bedsheets for Chinese New Year hehe i got a GREEN bed sheet =DDDDDD woot......then after that my mum took me to KIm's hse i was late....kim open the door for me and ee may was standing at the staircase then i din see zhilin.....then 3 of us kim me and ee may just talk and dont care about miss zhilin coz somehow this girl soooo smart go and hide.....and guess where she hide =.= she hide BEHIND the TOILET door =.= and she still can laugh.....when i went there they were playing dynasty warrior sort off pausing the game...then i went there to finish up my homework....and smart ppl like ee may says i rajin oh god -.- then i was playing with kim's weird cat until me and ee may heard beeds dropping on the floor and guess what her cat's ass near the tail got one hole!!!! LOL =x then zhi sew it back...and we ordered mcd....we eating mcd and laughing our ass off like crazy coz zhi kim and ee may was like talking and me listening sooo damn funny..then they watched stardust while i finish up my homework and at last yinnie came and i done with homework....then i watch too lol =x zhi went crazy and laughing like crazy when they watch stardust LOL! she cant stop laughing i ended up seeing her laugh than watching the movie and laugh lol.....and i was like half falling asleep coz i was really tired then about 6 something i got home....
Use the computer when i home and talk to my lovely Meow jiejie =D well ytd we are like sort of emo she was in a bad mood and i was tooo oh well jiejie be happy bah....love problems always strikes us but make the right choice choose the correct one and like u say so u wont regret it at the end right??? i want jiejie to know that no matter what happens meimei always support u ok....i always by your side if u need me ok =D i love u alot jiejie =D nobody else i can support but i really will support u till the end ok.....=) i love u loads jie.....talked to jiejie till about 12.30 i talk to her till i forgot i got class the next day =x lol....went to college like half dead falling asleep xD haha....anyway jiejie, meimei always will support u =D
I shall stop here.....

Random just my problems

Oh well been a long time since i blog again...didnt really have time plus doesnt have any mood after all these things had happen....I dunno what to do actually after all my love problems i couldnt find anyway to solve it and i went ask for aid to my pet sister rj, von, Erza,Lyn,Ying and a few more of my friends they tried to help me and tried to cheer me up...They supported me all this long i really appreciate what u guys have done...After I misunderstand benny, he didnt talk to me till now i dont know what is he thinking but i still do know that my heart has him all this while the love and care i gave him i really couldnt let it go its hard i felt very painful although i really have to let it go i will try my best to do so since i promised i will let it go and stop thinking about it yea its hurts badly but i dont have any other choice i could do or think of to make our relationship back together....I really felt very useless that i couldnt solve this problems by myself every bf i like or love ended up breaking up i felt really useless...i couldnt do anything i dont even know what to do....but thx to all my pet sisters who supported me all this while and gave me advice on what to do thx whatever done is done i cant turn back anymore....well i guess its time for me to let go benny and go on with my life well to me its really hard but no matter how long or hard it takes i hope my sister all will support me no matter what i will sure let it go no matter how long and hard it takes......i will go through it...
I dont know whether is he still reading my blog but i just want to say I'm sorry for misunderstanding you but its really hurt me when u tell me that i felt that i'm not there with u and i couldnt do my gf job but i would appreciate that u told me everything and did not hide any secrets away from me thx all this while we understand each other well and does not have any quarrels till this turn up..i dont know what it means but i feel that u might like the girls more than i do after u met them...but if u do like them go ahead i will surely wish u all have a happy time together....Although i really loves u alot but love cant forced but really thx all this while u being here for me when i need u and really thx for giving me a hand to help out in my family problems thx alot....well guess is now to bid farewell to u but ust to let u know i will be waiting for u if u still likes me.....i still do no matter what happens....

I really do hope myself good let this big heavy stone done and go on with my life...Monday is my english course wish this would help me to take my mind off and concentrate with my studies for the moment what will happen next i dont know but i really hope he finally knows what he wants and what is important to him....i really hope he can know....coz i already found out mine....he is really important to me and also my future....but him i dont know i really want to know from him but i guess i should not talk to him till he knows.....been a really tough this few days for me crying, sad, lack of sleep, no appetite...All in a day really hard i dont know what should i say or even do well i shall stop here now...once i got the answer i will blog again....cya for now......

PS:Jie thx for everything that u guys done for me i really dont know what to say but really appreciate it that u all advice and supported me all this far....thx i owe u all alot....love u all so much thx i dont know what more to say.....