Cried day

Today wasnt really my day...although the paper i sit today was okla can say its easy...then after exam called von jie awhile talk for awhile and waited for mum...then smsed him he said his fever goes off i felt relieved then my mum came and pick me went to buy food to eat i came home on pko and watch drama and made me start to feel sad...make me think back those days when i was small how my dad treated me and doesnt have a happy family for so many years till now....i really wants a happy family....now parents doesnt talk to each other or even sleep together...really hard for me T_T going out with mum my dad black face....i go out with dad mum says i dont care for her....really hard for me being a only child at home....what else could i do???i wish i had a happy family....i really give up...i dont know what to do anymore....somemore i having exams plus this problem i really damn stressed and pressure...yes crying and say die doesnt solve problem but i just cant help it....i have enough of all this i just give up i wish i can get out of here and dont care whatever happen....wanna know what happen when i small i shall tell u.....this is what happen

When i was born, my dad used to love me a lot going outstation to many places like shenzhen,hong kong,bangkok,Singapore,Perth and a few more places i cant remember, went with my mom's company trip...went there he bought me lots of things,even when he goes working alone to overseas, he comes back with souvenirs...

Till i went to primary school he changed a lot...and from there i started to cook for my parents to eat and get paid for cooking them dinner everyday....till now...thats why i know how to cook....everyday sleep late when i was in primary cause lots of homework in chinese school...and everyday dad had sooo much pressure at work and he comes home saw me doing hw or maybe cooking for them to eat he will starts to let go his pressure and all on me....

I always get whack everyday and going to school in blue black....some of my friends laughed at me,some actually concern and tried to comfort me if i have them to read this i will want to say thank you....Once i remember he punch me and my mouth full of blood and mom went to market, she was worried and come home then my dad act like i had whack him or something lying on the floor.....but he is the person who punch me how could i even whack him till he lying on the floor???

Small till now i already get used to all this....whacking,foul language i really used to them...once he took the kitchen knife and pointing at me and wanted to kill me...and lucky enough my uncle and mom was there...if not i guess i wont be sitting here...At least now he does really care about me but still get scolded everyday without a reason sometimes...i agree when i was small i was naughty but i didn't even make him angry...

Form4 i got into art class, he doesn't like it and every morning before going school and on the way to school i get scolded....one morning i was doing my art he saw me doing and say "why did u take art?You wont have any future in art.." i was like do you think in science class would have a better future???you cant compare....i was really upset at him and i told myself ignore him just ignore him......now everyday he look down on me cause i am in arts....

Now i told myself study hard and show it to him that i am happy in arts and get good grades and show him that i have a future later on when i comes out from college or maybe uni.....I really wanna show it to him that i can do it.....Its not easy but i will do it.....

I type this very long already i just dunno how to go on....i plan to run away from home but my pet sister stopped me before anyway i promised her i live a happy life and stays positive so i will...if its not momie talked to me just now i wouldnt feel better and smile right now...she mke me felt someone cares and loves me ..was looking for u rj but i couldnt find u but anyway i'm fine not no worries kay...right now i wanna sleep coz i not feeling well i fall sick so yea sore throat and flu ok la...i gonna go bed talk post tml =) anyway gtg take care